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By The Fireplace
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Love for Love
William Congreve

Scene X.

SIR SAMPSON, VALENTINE, SCANDAL, JEREMY.

VALENTINE
Ha, ha, ha; you need not run so fast, honesty will not overtake you. Ha, ha, ha, the rogue found me out to be in forma pauperis presently.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Oons! What a vexation is here! I know not what to do, or say, nor which way to go.

VALENTINE
Who's that that's out of his way? I am Truth, and can set him right. Harkee, friend, the straight road is the worst way you can go. He that follows his nose always, will very often be led into a stink. Probatum est. But what are you for? religion or politics? There's a couple of topics for you, no more like one another than oil and vinegar; and yet those two, beaten together by a state-cook, make sauce for the whole nation.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
What the devil had I to do, ever to beget sons? Why did I ever marry?

VALENTINE
Because thou wert a monster, old boy! The two greatest monsters in the world are a man and a woman! What's thy opinion?

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Why, my opinion is, that those two monsters joined together, make yet a greater, that's a man and his wife.

VALENTINE
Aha! Old True-penny, say'st thou so? Thou hast nicked it. But it's wonderful strange, Jeremy.

JEREMY
What is, sir?

VALENTINE
That gray hairs should cover a green head—and I make a fool of my father. What's here! Erra Pater: or a bearded sibyl? If Prophecy comes, Truth must give place.


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