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By The Fireplace
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The Way of the World
William Congreve

Scene IV.

SIR WILFULL, MILLAMANT.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Nay, nay, cousin. I have forgot my gloves. What d'ye do? 'Sheart, a has locked the door indeed, I think.—Nay, cousin Fainall, open the door. Pshaw, what a vixen trick is this? Nay, now a has seen me too.—Cousin, I made bold to pass through as it were—I think this door's enchanted.

MILLAMANT
[repeating]:-

I prithee spare me, gentle boy, Press me no more for that slight toy.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Anan? Cousin, your servant.

MILLAMANT
That foolish trifle of a heart - Sir Wilfull!

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Yes—your servant. No offence, I hope, cousin?

MILLAMANT
[repeating]:-

I swear it will not do its part, Though thou dost thine, employ'st thy power and art.

Natural, easy Suckling!

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Anan? Suckling? No such suckling neither, cousin, nor stripling: I thank heaven I'm no minor.

MILLAMANT
Ah, rustic, ruder than Gothic.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Well, well, I shall understand your lingo one of these days, cousin; in the meanwhile I must answer in plain English.

MILLAMANT
Have you any business with me, Sir Wilfull?

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Not at present, cousin. Yes, I made bold to see, to come and know if that how you were disposed to fetch a walk this evening; if so be that I might not be troublesome, I would have sought a walk with you.

MILLAMANT
A walk? What then?

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Nay, nothing. Only for the walk's sake, that's all.

MILLAMANT
I nauseate walking: 'tis a country diversion; I loathe the country and everything that relates to it.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Indeed! Hah! Look ye, look ye, you do? Nay, 'tis like you may. Here are choice of pastimes here in town, as plays and the like, that must be confessed indeed -

MILLAMANT
Ah, L'ETOURDI! I hate the town too.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Dear heart, that's much. Hah! that you should hate 'em both! Hah! 'tis like you may! There are some can't relish the town, and others can't away with the country, 'tis like you may be one of those, cousin.

MILLAMANT
Ha, ha, ha! Yes, 'tis like I may. You have nothing further to say to me?

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Not at present, cousin. 'Tis like when I have an opportunity to be more private—I may break my mind in some measure- -I conjecture you partly guess. However, that's as time shall try. But spare to speak and spare to speed, as they say.

MILLAMANT
If it is of no great importance, Sir Wilfull, you will oblige me to leave me: I have just now a little business.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Enough, enough, cousin. Yes, yes, all a case. When you're disposed, when you're disposed. Now's as well as another time; and another time as well as now. All's one for that. Yes, yes; if your concerns call you, there's no haste: it will keep cold as they say. Cousin, your servant. I think this door's locked.

MILLAMANT
You may go this way, sir.

SIR WILFULL WITWOUD
Your servant; then with your leave I'll return to my company.

MILLAMANT
Ay, ay; ha, ha, ha!

Like Phoebus sung the no less am'rous boy.


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